Controllable refueling drogues and associated systems and methods are disclosed. A system in accordance with one embodiment includes a fuel delivery device having a deployable portion configured to be deployed overboard an aircraft during aerial refueling. The deployable portion can include at least a portion of a flexible fuel line, a drogue coupled to the flexible fuel line, and an actuatable device operatively coupled to at least one of the drogue and the fuel line. The deployable portion can further include a guidance system that is operatively coupled to the actuatable device and that includes instructions to direct the operation of the actuatable device and move the drogue during flight.