A method, apparatus, and computer instructions for managing messages. In response to a request by an invitee to add a third party to a messaging session with a number of parties, a stealth invite is sent to the third party. If the stealth invite is accepted, messages sent to and received from the parties are sent to the third party without the number of parties knowing of a presence of the third party in the messaging session. The addition of the third party is not announced or indicated to the other parties. The third party also is unable to send messages to the other parties, but may in some cases send messages to the invitee. A recording feature allows a party to automatically record all messages that the party can see. This feature is initiated at the beginning of a messaging session and can be set as a default.