A presence model is maintained for a messaging system to message among a plurality of computing device users. A permission is maintained for providing to a first computing device a presence indication for a user of a second computing device. Based on an indication of a user of the first computing device not being in a messaging list for the user of the second computing device, the permission is maintained to provide only a basic presence indication to the first computing device for the user of the second computing device. From the first computing device, a message is caused to be sent to the second computing device. Based on the maintained permission, the basic presence indication for the user of the second computing device is provided to the first computing device and a user interface element is provided via which the user of the first computing device can be added to a messaging list for the user of the second computing device.